Subway? Sub-par.

There is a special circle in hell for people who are asshats on the TTC. What is it about hurtling underground in metal tubes that brings out the worst in people?

These asshats include, but are not limited to:

1) People who push to get on the train before people are off the train. It is a sealed car. There is only so far you can go. The advantage of being on first is relatively minimal. What, you're going to run to the other side of the car? Yes, it may grant you a seat, and I am well-accustomed to the desire to sit down being so strong I am willing to gnaw off my legs so I can rest on my stumps, but really. Let the people off the goddamn train. It is so unbelievably rude.

2) People who don't take their backpacks off. This applies to any kind of bag that is big enough to a)block the aisle, or b) knock a fellow passenger unconscious, regardless of whether it is carried on the back, in hand, messenger-style, or in any other fashion. Your back-pack exists in the corporeal world. Hence, it occupies spies. Do you not understand the concept of limited space? It means that there is only so much of it in a confined area, like a subway car. Your backpack means you take up more than your average amount of space. YOU ARE STEALING IT. But not only does your ridiculous connection to the shit that holds your shit mean that fewer human beings get on the train, get home, get to the hospital, get to work, etc. It becomes, in said confined space, a weapon. It smashes faces. You may not realize, as this happens behind your back. But it does happen. You are an asshole.

3) People who give their bags a seat when there are people standing. This is amazing to me. It almost seems like a challenge. As if they're saying, 'That's right, I've given a seat to this inanimate object, rather than you, a human being, or at least a highly-functioning and realistic robot. What are you going to do about it, fire your robot guns?' And when you ask them to move it, they look at you like you're the inconvenience. Like you're the sperm that shouldn't have made it through.

4) People who move slowly and/or stop in the walking lane of the escalator. I have to pee, and I can't do it in public places. Support my neurosis by letting me move quickly, I swear to God, I have to pee so bad.

Ugh!